We stood on sacred ground. Room 34 at Agrace HospiceCare was her home for 37 days.
Yes, it was sacred ground.
Being, witnessing and providing a calming presence to the person that brought me into this world is a final gift she gave to all of us.
It is a cherished gift; one beyond measure.
She told us of wanting to go home. She talked of all the people and not being sure how she would “fit”. There are so many, she said. Will there be room for me? Yes, there is plenty of room, we told her.
Reassured, she goes back to sleep. A while later she wakes. “They just opened the door for me”.
She talked of the presence of her first love in Room 34; lost to Iwo Jima many years ago, but still in her heart. Did you see my boyfriend is here? she asked the nurse, pointing to what appears be nothing. It is something. Love never dies and he was waiting for her. How wonderful, the nurse tells her.
When can she go home? she asked. Whenever you want to, I tell her. Whenever you’re ready.
For a moment she looked concerned. I left the room for a while. While gone, Bruce asked her what was wrong; why the frown. I can’t go yet, she told Bruce. Why not, he asked? I have two little boys I have to stay and take care of. A mother whose pain was secondary to taking care of her little boys. Gary and I have been blessed.
You’ve done a wonderful job, Bruce told her. Gary and Greg will miss you. I will miss you. Brian will miss you. Bridget, Vicki and Beth will miss you. So many will miss you, Bruce tells her. But you have done such a good job and loved us all so well that it is OK to go home. We will all be fine. We will never forget.
There is no rush. Whenever you’re ready, he assured her.
Later that night, I fed her a few spoons of soup, returning the favor of those first tastes of food she lovingly fed to me at the other end of life. Another circle complete.
Again, she talked of wanting to go home and of wanting to wear her necklace to bed so she looks nice when she goes home.
She marveled at the beauty of the harp music and told me that the harp concert in her room at hospice was one of the best things that ever happened to her. She held my hand and told me that “Papa loves the music” and that it will be a great Christmas. She told me that “everyone will be playing the harp”.
Yes, it is was honor beyond measure to have been able to share a glimpse into her new “home”. She shared the preparation for her next journey with us by giving us a glimpse into her new “home”.
I am incredibly sad yet I celebrated the day she died for I knew, without question, that she was now soaring on the wings of those that have gone before her. We were with Mom and witnessed the birth of the spirit energy that took away all pain, suffering and confusion.
All is well.
Now, her work is done and she smiles down on us and asks us to rejoice in the glorious awakening that Gary, Bruce and I were honored to witness in Room 34 at 1:59 PM on December 18th.
Yes, We stood on sacred ground.
Blessings to my Mom.
